is this short story good so far?

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jo64hn

This is my first time trying to write a short story and im 15 and it is my first draft tell me what you think
be honest and its long (what i have done so far)

It started on a winters day,unusual to be honest,it was as cold for a mid novemember day but it had an Augest wind passing by.Well thats Billowood for you, always the first town in Irelands east coast to get the first bad day of winter,even if its got a good wind.The sun was blocked by white cloulds which gave the children and young adults the hope of snow,but it only ever snow a week before christmas which gave the 25th the fun and joys of slush everywhere like snow on the weathered curb or the hardend trees, where some kid would get a new bike and 'have to try it out' and in a cartoon sence,the slush would fall and cover him in an sence of painc,not for himself,but the bike itself.It happened every year, and every year I seen this I tried as an young adult had to cover my smile from looking rude,but everyone laughed in this sence every year and someone kid still goes out.
I was passing by the old book shop when it all first happened.'Barries book of wonders' he calls it,but in this towns size and his size of books,you have to give it some wonder.The average book store would have about two to three books per person in every town or village if it was a local book store,Barry had 20 per eye in town,which varried from world known novels like 'How To Kill a Mocking Bird' and 'PS I love you' to locals books with locals own written work of stoires and poetry and everything inbetween.
As I was walking passed I smelled the sweet smell of fresh baked bread from Miss Jones bakery which arcoss the street from the book store and the fainter smell of perfume from Miss Jones, i said hi to who ever I should meet along my way and I then poped in to see how my sister was doing in her cloths shop.When I entered I would ask her once again jokely is she going to fix that squicky doorhinge and she would always answer with 'I thought it was you that said he who broke it,fix it and if he can't fix it, pay one that can' which would cause a little laugh,as big as laugh you could get from a old joke between brother and sister.
As I leaved from her shop,i walked passed the book store where Barry keeps trying to get my teenage poetry that he says he can't get enough of.which is always a good sign from when he was a famous poet in his day but I say I'd think about and he'll say that always means no and walk inside with a fake pout but be able to sneak a sale seconds after.I walked on and then I saw it or should I say I saw her,I saw my first teenage love,which as about five years ago at fifteen but I never forgot about her.
Anabell was fifteen when she left to france when her dad got a job as a lawyer there,he wanted to stay at home but the pay was too good,anyone with any sence of money could figue that out but I was the only one the didn't want Anabell to go,Tom her father was one of the most loved men in town and I mean every one,he had no enemies.He was funny,caring,smart,happy and good looking and no one wanted him to leave but barly anyone thought of Anabell, execpt family, close friends, classmates and of course sercet lovers.
Four years and she was even more beautiful than when she was,she has a unquie look,unquie as the sunns rays on a rainny day,as the gentle rays reflexes the rains drops, they apper as hundreds of shining drops of pure light that seems to dissapper when they finsh there journay to the ground,it was simply breataking as it is now as it was the first time i saw her.

Answer
Great storyline and opening. But you have way to much characters and back stories for this to be a short story, if you are planning to turn this into a book-sized plot, then I could tell you it could work. Other than that fine job 3.5 out of 5.

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Title Post: is this short story good so far?
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