Gary
Answer
nope, dont bother. if the child is laughing its not doing what its supposed to be doing (Discipline).
try taking their stuff. they HATE that.
for instance,
1) spanking never worked with one of my kids (the others yes) when my one son was little, if he was angry at me he would smash my stuff (only when he was mad [my ex was an abuser, so he learned all of that from him smashing everything]).
he would smash, then stand there with a firm look on his face, "ha ha" he'd say to me.
i finally went in his room and grabbed the prized bat mobile, and proceeded to stomp on it until nothing left. "ha ha yourself. not so funny now, huh? DONT do it again".
he never did it again. all of the talking talking talking with this kid and THAT was the cure. i wished i had figured that out years ago.
2) when my kids wouldnt use bike helmets i would pull out the tools and take off the front tire of their bike, then lock it in the trunk for one or two days. i'm not upsetting myself, i'll just take it. if they did it again, i would do it for a week.
3) i used to be stupid and take their whole video game set up; games, paddles, etc... until one day i realized one better. i would just walk in and take the JUST the paddles to the video games. i told them they could look at it all they wanted.
they replied 'but now we cant play it'
'bummer' was my reply. :)
4) when they would argue with each other (or me) and slam the bedroom door(s) i would just pop the pins in the door and take the whole dam door (LOL!!). yup. i just put it against the wall in my bedroom.
they would say "hey! thats MY door"
"nope, its mine... the room is still yours" i would say back.
see? why aggravate yourself... you can do far more damage by taking their stuff (they reach an age where you can reason with them and spanking doesnt work anymore). kids HATE when you take their stuff, and more then likely, usualy stop their crap.
yvette
mom of 4 and still standing my ground ;)
.
nope, dont bother. if the child is laughing its not doing what its supposed to be doing (Discipline).
try taking their stuff. they HATE that.
for instance,
1) spanking never worked with one of my kids (the others yes) when my one son was little, if he was angry at me he would smash my stuff (only when he was mad [my ex was an abuser, so he learned all of that from him smashing everything]).
he would smash, then stand there with a firm look on his face, "ha ha" he'd say to me.
i finally went in his room and grabbed the prized bat mobile, and proceeded to stomp on it until nothing left. "ha ha yourself. not so funny now, huh? DONT do it again".
he never did it again. all of the talking talking talking with this kid and THAT was the cure. i wished i had figured that out years ago.
2) when my kids wouldnt use bike helmets i would pull out the tools and take off the front tire of their bike, then lock it in the trunk for one or two days. i'm not upsetting myself, i'll just take it. if they did it again, i would do it for a week.
3) i used to be stupid and take their whole video game set up; games, paddles, etc... until one day i realized one better. i would just walk in and take the JUST the paddles to the video games. i told them they could look at it all they wanted.
they replied 'but now we cant play it'
'bummer' was my reply. :)
4) when they would argue with each other (or me) and slam the bedroom door(s) i would just pop the pins in the door and take the whole dam door (LOL!!). yup. i just put it against the wall in my bedroom.
they would say "hey! thats MY door"
"nope, its mine... the room is still yours" i would say back.
see? why aggravate yourself... you can do far more damage by taking their stuff (they reach an age where you can reason with them and spanking doesnt work anymore). kids HATE when you take their stuff, and more then likely, usualy stop their crap.
yvette
mom of 4 and still standing my ground ;)
.
What can I do about my restless baby?
pinkbutter
I have a baby girl that is almost 4 months old. I have started her on cereal but not yet on baby food. She has been a very restless sleeper lately. She never really has slept all the way through the night since she was born so I'm not really expecting that but now all of a sudden during the day she is up for an hour and then gets really tired and I lay her down for a nap and she only sleep 30 minutes to an hour and is right back up. This continues all day long. I give her a bath and bottle with cereal at 8 and she lays down for bed and sleeps pretty good until about 2 or sometimes 4 and then is almost fully awake. I can get her to go back to sleep but she keeps waking up about every hour after that until finally she wont go back to sleep anywhere between 6 and 8am. What can I do about her sleeping issue? I've tried keeping her awake for longer periods of time during the day before I let her take a nap but that seems to have made it worse because now she wont sleep but only 30 minutes. I plan on starting her on baby food tomorrow but I don't know if that will fix it. Does anyone have any suggestions about getting her to sleep longer and on more of a regular schedule?
Answer
Hang in there. I don't usually answer these parenting questions, it can be like arguing over politics but I seriously think I may have some suggestions to pass on.
My little ones were always of good temperament, because a great pediatrician was simple in her advice - keep it simple, think like a baby & slow down before you react each time & read their tells. We adults get so caught up in all of the possibilities and details beyond eating, sleeping and pooping. Unless there is something truly wrong with the physiology, anticipating the above three events during the day, on a regular boring schedule, day after day is the formula to a happy baby. Sunshine, physical activity, fresh air and swing sets put babies out. Good diets & eating well keeps them asleep.
My first, 3rd & 4th were all good eaters & sleepers immediately. They told me their schedule of how much they wanted to eat & sleep, then I nailed it down to be consistent. My 2nd darling sounds a bit like yours. She would sip at the breast, then crash. Sip & crash 20-30 minutes, up again. I would strip her down to her diaper & use barely cool wash clothes to keep her awake, at least enough awake to eat & fill up for a decent stretch.
Since all she's doing is laying around eating & sleeping, yet her body is growing & brain waking up, she's got energy & needs to be shown how to expel it. Before my pre-one year olds' AM naps, we would have exercise time for 20 minutes or a bike ride. Do the exercise movements for her, move her limbs, do bicycle legs as she lays on her back. Put her on her tummy and put toys just out of reach so she stretches - always let her win the toy, slide it toward her, let her have a few seconds of frustration first so she'll learn how to push through it.
When you're faced with an issue like this, adding food should be considered carefully. Sometimes it can help, other times add discomfort and gas. And just because a baby slaps away a spoonful of food, it doesn't mean they don't like or want it. 4 months is still young to introduce food. I know it's the standard, but it's all estimations. I screened kids 0-5 years old for developmental delays, it's not based upon how many weeks old they are - there is a lot of wiggle room. You don't have to accomplish something on the exact day a pediatrician's chart tells you.
I breast fed primarily, but committed a no-no. I insisted that all my babies taste formula before I left hospital, to see how they tolerated it under controlled conditions. If I were to get a breast infection, or just drop off of the planet, I wanted to know they would be able to tolerate formula. It turned out that 1 out of my 4 could not tolerate dairy well. Some called it colic, but when I eliminated cow's milk products from my own (breast feeding) diet, and tried him on soy, it went away completely. This is what the formula companies don't tell you. Probably because it causes you to buy the ridiculously priced infant antacids! I've helped other mom's "cure" misdiagnosed colic several times. Cow's milk is made for calves, not humans. It's an artificial substitute that works fine for some, but doesn't fit us all - look at how many folks who hit their 40's suddenly become lactose intolerant!
Get her on a schedule - it'll take about 2 weeks. If she cries in the crib, just rub her back, don't take her out unless it's legitimate diaper or hunger. Babies graze and eat as they need it, try to build her up to take 4-8 ounces of formula with cereal in it in a feeding, then you can see if filling her stomach helps, in addition to stimulation & exercise beforehand.
I also put on a very low volume classical music tape with ocean waves in the background, that worked well - kept a few copies of that on hand with all of these babies! But I set the music to shut off so they don't overstimulate & their brains could rest. Even kept a copy of that tape in the car when I had to nap them out, when it was unavoidable to stick to their schedule at home. Between the consistent bedtime snack, say goodnight to the moon, brush teeth, read books, & music tape, we had bedtime very consistent & down to a science. Same thing every day - that music came to mean "sleep" for them for several years, better than a sleeping pill.
It takes time, patience beyond what I knew I had, and commitment. I was on my own with 3 in diapers, I learned that keeping their schedule extremely consistent, with some flexibility built in, I could take care of myself. When I was lax on it, I paid dearly.
Now they are teens - I never thought I prefer the diapers!
I just read my answer to you - I sound like such a "know-it-all", but this is info I gathered that was shared with me, tried, and worked more often than not. I listened to advice some, but mostly to the babies. It's like playing poker at first - reading their tells.
My pediatrician said that she's not so sure that mother's intuition exists, she thinks is women's intelligence - hang around a crying baby long enough & you'll figure out how to stop it!
Good luck. Maybe my long answer will help you get some sleep.
Hang in there. I don't usually answer these parenting questions, it can be like arguing over politics but I seriously think I may have some suggestions to pass on.
My little ones were always of good temperament, because a great pediatrician was simple in her advice - keep it simple, think like a baby & slow down before you react each time & read their tells. We adults get so caught up in all of the possibilities and details beyond eating, sleeping and pooping. Unless there is something truly wrong with the physiology, anticipating the above three events during the day, on a regular boring schedule, day after day is the formula to a happy baby. Sunshine, physical activity, fresh air and swing sets put babies out. Good diets & eating well keeps them asleep.
My first, 3rd & 4th were all good eaters & sleepers immediately. They told me their schedule of how much they wanted to eat & sleep, then I nailed it down to be consistent. My 2nd darling sounds a bit like yours. She would sip at the breast, then crash. Sip & crash 20-30 minutes, up again. I would strip her down to her diaper & use barely cool wash clothes to keep her awake, at least enough awake to eat & fill up for a decent stretch.
Since all she's doing is laying around eating & sleeping, yet her body is growing & brain waking up, she's got energy & needs to be shown how to expel it. Before my pre-one year olds' AM naps, we would have exercise time for 20 minutes or a bike ride. Do the exercise movements for her, move her limbs, do bicycle legs as she lays on her back. Put her on her tummy and put toys just out of reach so she stretches - always let her win the toy, slide it toward her, let her have a few seconds of frustration first so she'll learn how to push through it.
When you're faced with an issue like this, adding food should be considered carefully. Sometimes it can help, other times add discomfort and gas. And just because a baby slaps away a spoonful of food, it doesn't mean they don't like or want it. 4 months is still young to introduce food. I know it's the standard, but it's all estimations. I screened kids 0-5 years old for developmental delays, it's not based upon how many weeks old they are - there is a lot of wiggle room. You don't have to accomplish something on the exact day a pediatrician's chart tells you.
I breast fed primarily, but committed a no-no. I insisted that all my babies taste formula before I left hospital, to see how they tolerated it under controlled conditions. If I were to get a breast infection, or just drop off of the planet, I wanted to know they would be able to tolerate formula. It turned out that 1 out of my 4 could not tolerate dairy well. Some called it colic, but when I eliminated cow's milk products from my own (breast feeding) diet, and tried him on soy, it went away completely. This is what the formula companies don't tell you. Probably because it causes you to buy the ridiculously priced infant antacids! I've helped other mom's "cure" misdiagnosed colic several times. Cow's milk is made for calves, not humans. It's an artificial substitute that works fine for some, but doesn't fit us all - look at how many folks who hit their 40's suddenly become lactose intolerant!
Get her on a schedule - it'll take about 2 weeks. If she cries in the crib, just rub her back, don't take her out unless it's legitimate diaper or hunger. Babies graze and eat as they need it, try to build her up to take 4-8 ounces of formula with cereal in it in a feeding, then you can see if filling her stomach helps, in addition to stimulation & exercise beforehand.
I also put on a very low volume classical music tape with ocean waves in the background, that worked well - kept a few copies of that on hand with all of these babies! But I set the music to shut off so they don't overstimulate & their brains could rest. Even kept a copy of that tape in the car when I had to nap them out, when it was unavoidable to stick to their schedule at home. Between the consistent bedtime snack, say goodnight to the moon, brush teeth, read books, & music tape, we had bedtime very consistent & down to a science. Same thing every day - that music came to mean "sleep" for them for several years, better than a sleeping pill.
It takes time, patience beyond what I knew I had, and commitment. I was on my own with 3 in diapers, I learned that keeping their schedule extremely consistent, with some flexibility built in, I could take care of myself. When I was lax on it, I paid dearly.
Now they are teens - I never thought I prefer the diapers!
I just read my answer to you - I sound like such a "know-it-all", but this is info I gathered that was shared with me, tried, and worked more often than not. I listened to advice some, but mostly to the babies. It's like playing poker at first - reading their tells.
My pediatrician said that she's not so sure that mother's intuition exists, she thinks is women's intelligence - hang around a crying baby long enough & you'll figure out how to stop it!
Good luck. Maybe my long answer will help you get some sleep.
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Title Post: If my child laughs during spanking, should I use more force?
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Rating: 94% based on 932 ratings. 4,1 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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